I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
