plz talk dirty to me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
