And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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