I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
