her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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