I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
