Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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