Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
