Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
