Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize