I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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