if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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