you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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