I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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