so explain again why im purple
no
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
