Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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