i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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