Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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