I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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