I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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