I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
