the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
