I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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