please come you make the beer taste better
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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