I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
