Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
