i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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