garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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