Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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