WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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