did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
