My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
