There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
