Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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