you would pick up someone in the library
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize