who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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