are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
