Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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