Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
