There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
