I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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