I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
