They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
