All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
