If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
