i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
