I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
