You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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