the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
