A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
