The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
