I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
