Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
