Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
