you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
