Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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