so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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