I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
