Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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